Tag: recovery

Moving Forward #asonedoes

Just to look back one more time … I present to you, my timeline of wtf.

The first bit:

  • Sept 14 2017 – routine mammogram #squished
  • Sept 21 – mag view mammogram (to get a better look, ya know?) #surewhynot
  • Oct 6 – biopsy #holyshitthatsawkward
  • Oct 19 – family doc reads results – CANCER. No biggie, I figure. I can deal. #cancerwtfareyoukiddingme
  • Oct 24 – surgeon appt – omg so HOT. phew. #silverlining #thereisagod
  • Oct 31 – MRI – met mr. lorazepam – weeeeee #notanaddict
  • Nov 17 – surgery – bi-lateral mastectomy – 53 staples, 2 drains and ms. oxy – weeeeee #thatsgoodshit #ihavesomeleft
  • Nov 23 – drains out – NASTY NASTY #justtrytorelax #didntpunchherout
  • Nov 27 – staples out – omg noooooooo – #breathebreathenamaste 
  • Dec 7 – hot surgeon reads path reports – lymph nodes negative YAHOOOOO but not so fast he says, you’ll hear from an onc soon… #soonmeansnothing #merrychristmas
No problem. Got it done.

The Next Bit:

  • Dec 29 – fast talking, eye rolling oncologist explains treatment plan #shedidntbreathe #wedrovetothedirtyshwaforthis
  • Jan 4, 2018 – MUGA scan (heart test) #meh
  • Jan 9 – portacath insertion – FASCINATING #heyicanfeelthat
  • Jan 10 – first chemo #icandothis #circlebackwiththosecookieswouldya
  • weeks and weeks and weeks of awesome friends visiting and sending me shit, and me doing my damnedest to mitigate some rather nasty side effects #loveyoupeople #chemosucks
  • March 6 – Jenny shaved my head! #liberated #peoplelookbetterwithhair
  • March 14 – 10% reduction of chemo due to neuropathy development in hands & feet – I start freezing my extremities with ice – people stare #shutupimbeingproactive
  • March 28 – last chemo WOOT WOOT – feel like shit, but so happy it will be downhill from here – EXHAUSTED #imisswinesomuch
It was a challenge but I endured.

The last bit:

  • April 15 – heart attack WTF?? (It really does feel like your chest is in a vice. And it’s hard to breathe. NASTY NASTY) #shouldhavecalledanambulance #itwasnttheavocado
  • April 17 – angiogram to confirm SCAD “Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection” – it’s a thing #lookitup
  • April 24 – meet with stern oncologist who I notice thinks with her eyes shut – no Herceptin for me until she talks to my cardiologist (ya, well, I don’t have one… OMG REALLY?) #idontwanttorestanymore #fuckoff
  • May 6 – Hike for Hospice (in a wheelchair, but I did it!) – My team raised over $11,000 WOOT WOOT – I love my peeps #fundraisingwin #dontaskmetodothisnextyear
Ok what? Unplanned meets planned. Did it all.

The final straw bit:

  • May 7 – @ 2 am I start passing a kidney stone – think I’m dying – mr. morphine saved my ass – SWEEEEEET – CAT scan confirmed it #thankspaulforholdingmypukecontainer
  • May 10 – cardiac ultrasound – technician is no nonsense – asked her to ultrasound my boob bumps – NOT IMPRESSED WITH ME #omgsofunnyinmyhead
  • May 11 – kidney stone expelled – the mother fucker had two sharp points #shouldibronzeit 
  • May 15 – met with oncologist who actually smiled (maybe she thinks I deserve ONE smile) – clears me for treatment and agrees to send my kidney stone off for analysis #inquiringmindswanttoknow #heyyoudidsomethingnice
  • May 16 (tomorrow)- Herceptin resumes (this is my 6th treatment) – have to have a loading dose again because it’s been 6 weeks since my last treatment (double the amount and a 1 hour observation period CRAPPY but I like the chemo suite … free cookies, ya know?) #petitioningfororeos
Ok seriously. Stop it. 

So the breast removal is done, the chemo is done, the heart attack is done, the kidney stone is done. All I have left is my targeted therapy, Herceptin. I continue to get it every 3 weeks till I have had a total of 18 treatments. In order to make it fun I have decided to take the remaining number of treats to the nurses. 12 tomorrow – a dozen of blueberrry muffins, me thinks (last time it was 13 chocolate dipped oreos! NOM NOM). #gottamakeyourownfun

The only other thing is, well, recovery. I somehow keep forgetting that I’m actually IN recovery. Both from the chemo and now the heart attack. So ya, being slow and tired is the new normal and being patient with it all is also pretty new. #workingonit

Thanks for all of the lovingkindness. Strength in numbers, I say! #peaceout

Never a bad time for a selfie. 

 

gear

Recovery Looks Like a Y

Well, this is my first “week off” from treatment since January (over 3 months ago). When Shelley sent this text on Wednesday morning I panicked a little bit at first …  

text from Shelley
I just love Shelley cookies!! Hoping for the PB and m&m ones …

I’m DONE chemo (all 12 weeks of it)!! I still am in treatment (it’s not over till it’s over) since I continue with Trastuzumab every 3 weeks until January 2019 (brand name is Herceptin). But Trastuzumab is no where near as toxic as the chemo. I can function with it. I wrote about it in an earlier post so I won’t bore you, but as a quick recap, Trastuzumab – ok, let’s just call it Herceptin from here on in – is a targeted therapy (not like chemo that annihilates every growing cell). It’s an antibody that blocks the protein that causes HER-2 positive cancer cells to grow. A revolutionary discovery. The guys who discovered are total heroes – they were unwavering in their beliefs that there were cancer cells that overproduced certain proteins – but they couldn’t get the finances and research support to prove it. Before Herceptin was discovered, this type of HER-2 positive cancer essentially killed women … and fast. Women had a very low chance of survival. This drug changed everything. Dennis Slamon and Axel Ullrich. Thank you. And thank you to the goddess at Revlon who was diagnosed with breast cancer, heard about these two and proceeded convince Revlon to fund their research to the tune of 13 million. 

diagram
How is this helpful?? Seriously don’t understand it. 

The one rather nasty part of this very positive story is that Herceptin causes heart damage. I have to have a MUGA scan every 3 months to be sure that my heart function is not being compromised. And I have to watch for signs of cardiac distress. Like passing out. 

What Happens in Recovery?  

Basically, I have to heal from the effects of the toxic sludge that was poured into my body. I also need to heal the tissues and muscles on my chest, expand the range of motion. That kind of thing. And at the same time I need to keep my heart strong so that it has a better chance of not being negatively affected by the Herceptin. Sounds like a walk in the park. (That’s May 6th folks… in case you forgot!)

What’s Happening So Far?

On the outside I def look like a cancer victim patient. I’m bald, pasty, have minimal eyebrows. On the inside I’m fucking tired! My nasal passages still bleed and crust up. But I’m feeling better. I don’t notice a change every day – not that kind of thing. I just notice that:

  • my guts don’t hurt
  • I can eat tomatoes now (spicy stuff still burns, sadly …)
  • I don’t have mouth sores 
  • I don’t have to take Senekot to poop 

How am I Facilitating my Recovery? 

Well I am tired a lot so I try to rest. L. M. A. O. Ya so, I’m not just sitting around waiting to get better. None of that shit. I want to be better NOW! Lucky for me, my cousin Cheri is a prof in the Kinesiology Dept at the U of Windsor who is researching the relationship between recovery from cancer and exercise. (Yep. That’s my cousin! Doing it all for me! LOL) She was very quick to tell me that research clearly indicates that exercise offsets some of the detrimental cardiac and vascular effects of Herceptin (yes – the biggest side effect is a weakening of the heart). Here’s a great quote she sent me:

“Most impressive of all, moderate to vigorous intensity progressive exercise training prevents recurrence and death from breast and colon cancer. The overriding message, is that exercise training is beneficial.” – American College of Sports Medicine 2016.

Ya. So that means I HAVE TO EXERCISE! (oh, and I love it soooooo much…) 

Here are the guidelines that she has sent me (a combo of suggestions from Cancer Care Ontario and the American College of Sports Medicine):

  • aerobic exercise (aka cardio):
    • 150 minutes of accumulated moderate intensity aerobic exercise (seems reasonable till you figure that 150 min is more than 2 hours … just sayin’)
    • using large muscle groups
    • spread over 3 to 5 days / week (so that’s 30 – 50 min of cardio at a time … gak)
    • I can be biking, walking, swimming … as long as I have a noticeable increase in breathing and sweating while still being able to talk. No gasping or falling over either.  
  • resistance (aka weights): 
    • 2x / week (that’s feeling more reasonable)
    • 8 – 10 muscle groups (8?? 10?? what?? I’m good with biceps, triceps, shoulders, back, chest. That’s 5. Oh dear.)
    • 8 – 10 reps, 2 sets (simple. It’s the number of muscles that’s the problem. 
    • can use free weights, weight machines, isokinetic machines (ummmmm whaaa?), resistance bands, circuit training (no thanks if this involves me pushing someone sitting on bench or something daft like that), functional exercises (like splitting wood??)
    • if combined with aerobic session, I can scale back on my aerobic exercise (20 min max) HALLELUJAH. Must. Do. Weights. 
  • flexibility (aka Yoga):
    • 3x / week 
    • 20 seconds / stretch, 2 – 4 reps / stretch
    • static stretches of hips, knees, shoulders and neck
    • This is TOTALLY manageable. I can watch Netflix and stretch like a pro. 

Do I want to do this? No. Do I have to do this? Yes. So, motivated by my fitnfreakinfabuless friend Kate, I started my exercise regime 6 days after my final chemo. Lemme tell ya, I’m no spring chicken, but I can still kick some exercise butt! For example, today I did a 1 hour Hatha Yoga class at the Y (just slight tenderness here and there), yesterday 30 min on the treadmill with about 1 minute of RUNNING (and I nearly collapsed trying to push the arrow down button), the day before 40 lengths of the pool (aka 1,000 metres). I love the feeling of the water on my bald head by the way. Very cool perk to baldness. 

Sadly, part of the chemo aftermath is the feeling of exhaustion. Which I hate. But it’s still there even with the hating. Go figure. So the trick is to do this exercise stuff in the morning since I have very little energy by 2 pm. 

See you at the Y! 

 

hospice pic

Walk with Jan

We all have things that we aspire to do when we have time. Something that I’ve always wanted to do is to get involved with Hospice in some way – ideally as a volunteer. Going through this crappy cancer journey has reminded me of this goal, since one of the goals of Hospice is to help people who are dealing with a life threatening illness live their lives to the fullest. I’m doing that right now, although I don’t needs the services of Hospice – hallelujah x 1 million.   

The Organization

If you don’t know about what Hospice is, you’re not alone. A lot of people have no idea that this incredible organization exists, or if they do, they don’t really understand its purpose.

Generally speaking, when someone is dealing with a life threatening or terminal illness they need support. The family needs support. Hospice provides it. As people reach the end of their lives and are in palliative care, Hospice is invaluable.

Currently Hospice Peterborough is building a new facility on London street. It’s a huge endeavour. Here’s a quote from their website:

“The new London Street building will provide a welcoming, accessible space for Hospice Peterborough’s home support program, day program, caregiver support, grief programs, family support, wellness programming and administrative offices. The scope of Hospice is also expanding to include 10 private bedrooms, offering another choice for end of life care in the community and the first hospice care beds to exist in the City and County of Peterborough. This will complete Hospice’s transition to become a central hub for the delivery of hospice palliative care and grief support in our community.”

Drawing
looking straight at the entrance
Building is underway!

The Pitch

So I’d like to ask a favour. Will you walk with me on May 6th to raise money for Hospice? It’s the day before my 53rd birthday. It would be the best birthday present ever! I will be in recovery from the chemo (although still having other regular non-chemo treatments) and I should be good to walk the suggested route (or most of it).

The Options

No walking – but can donate! Perfect. You likely live too far away, have small children or are too lazy. Haha!

You can donate by pledging to me that you will give me cash. Just let me know how much you can donate in a comment on this page, on Facie, by text or email, phone me, Insta, come over … OMG. Just let me know how much … then I’ll come after you!

OR…. 

You can donate by going to my team page on the Hike for Hospice website and clicking on “Donate”. There you’ll find a little ditty that I wrote. After you read it, you can donate something by clicking on the blue button. Easy peasy. (Or you could go to the Hike for Hospice website and search for my team, but that’s unnecessary.) 

OR…. Walk with me! Outta site!!! Now that would be so much fun …

Just go to my team page and rather than “donate”, click on “join team”. From there you choose the type of participant you want to be. You can just walk, add a donation, or you can set your own fundraising goal and then harass persuade some of your friends to give YOU money for Hospice. This way you can compete with me to see who can raise more money. (I am very competitive, just sayin’.) If you want to do that, just set a goal for fundraising, and make your own donation (I didn’t do this the first time and it took AGES to figure out how to donate, not just set a fundraising goal…)

The Final Comment

I don’t generally like to hit people up for money, but come on. I have cancer, it’s (going to be) my birthday, and Hospice is awesome. Please walk with me and / or make a small donation to a great organization!! 

xoxoxo J

bald head thank you
My bald head thanks you. And all of the other parts of my body do too, but my bald head is the most thankful for sure.
post it note

Feelings of Booblessness

It’s been a whirlwind getting to this state. 

dressing
Booblessness, staples, drains & nausea (and still smiling when I’m not bossing people around…)

September 14th was a routine mammogram, November 17th bi-lateral mastectomy … and all of the requisite appointments in between. It went like this… 

Routine mammogram, mag view mammogram, family doc appt to explain biopsy, biopsy, family doc appt to explain result of biopsy, surgeon, bloodwork, MRI, surgeon, surgeon, bloodwork, surgeon, surgery, recovery. All in 2 months. 

Lots of support along the way from Paul, my family, friends and staff, with helpful tips like this…

card
(I find that it always does.)

… and of course lots of chocolate, books, wine, knitting materials and tea. People know me. 

I only had to have the right breast off – as well as a sentinal node biopsy. I wanted the left breast off as well. It wasn’t having an “Angelina Jolie”, which everyone comments on me having – from friends to nurses to the anaesthesiologist. Her surgery was entirely preventative and she had reconstruction done at the same time. I wanted to have my left breast off purely for convenience. Sounds pretty vain, wanting to part with my own flesh because I’m too lazy to make a concerted effort every day to make the vacant space on the right look like the sagging boobie on the left. Truth. I didn’t want to have to put forth the effort involved to have a prosthetic boob handy in order to avoid putting anyone in a state of discomfort. I’d rather toss on a T-shirt when I want to. And put on a SET of IDENTICAL prosthestic breasts when I feel the need. 

So … here I am now. In recovery. Staples come out on day 10. After that I’ll be wearing this beauty that my loving sis got for me. I think it will be pretty much 24/7. 

cami
This camisole is built specifically for people who have had a mastectomy – there are little slits for the fake tits to go in… but it also hugs in super tight. 

After the healing I’ll find out the results of the sentinal node biopsy. (That’s where they inject isotopes in to the nipple area just before surgery, then track the nodes that they go to and mark them with a sharpie. The surgeon removed those nodes during surgery and now they are off to the lab where they will be dissected and searched for cancer cells.) And after that, I’ll find out the results of the breast tissues. The data that comes back from the lab will inform the next steps of treatment. One step at a time. 

And in the meantime, I need to go fake boob shopping and Annie & Bree and I will be designing mastectomy tattoos …